An Emotional Letter

Friday was a very emotional and sad day for me.
It has gone 7 years since I lost my dad. 7 years since I lost my best friend and my most loyal supporter. 7 years since my life suddenly changed. I just wanted to share a little letter I have written to my dad.
Dear Dad.

It feels like yesterday I spoke to you for hours on the phone. We talked all the time. At least once a day, but most days several times a day. I was a proper daddies girl. Always! It might sound weird that I spoke to my dad so much, but he was my best friend. Whenever I had a question or wanted to share something fun or sad I called him. And he me. The telephone bills were sky high back then, I think about how much fun it would have been to Skype with you these days if you had been here. You would have been so amazed by technology! 

My dad on top of a mountain right above the house I grew up in. In lovely Lofoten.

We shared so many interests and that is probably why we had such a great relationship and friendship. From I was a little girl you took me out doing so many fun things. You showed me the joys of doing sports which was your passion. Running, skiing, athletics and football. Both you and mum took me to hundreds of football matches and I loved it. I still love it, but I miss my “talking about football” buddy. Talking about sports in general is not the same. 

You always were the sporty one. You were even competing for Norway when you were younger.

You showed me the love for travelling and I often think about and talk about the great memories I have from travelling with you every summer from I was 8 till I was 18. We did not have much money, but you saved all you could to be able to take me for a summer holiday every year. We carried backpacks and travelled with bus, boat and train, it was amazing adventures for me. We did so much exciting. We went gold washing in Finland, close to the Russian border, we ate bear meat together in Sweden, we found rare gems in a river in Sweden with a guy from Australia and his daughter and we climbed the tallest mountain in Norway together. Since then I have been on many travels all over the world, and I always think of you and how much you would have loved to come with me. The joy of travelling and seeing something else outside of where you lived was something you thought was very important. You loved the mountains and the sea. People we met on our journeys said to us “why do you want to travel when you come from somewhere as beautiful as where you live?” This made me dad a bit frustrated cause he always said to them that everyone needed to see new places and discover new things. It was good for the mind and how you live as a person. And this is something I have brought with me. I’m a nomad of nature and I really love it. It does make me restless at times, but I love seeing new places and discovering new things. 

The very last photo taken of me and my dad together. And my lovely dog, Fant.

The restlessness in me probably has to do with my eagerness to learn. I love learning. Ever since I was very little I have liked learning and that is thanks to you dad. You were so patient and good with me and taught me how to read before I was 4. I remember sitting on your knee by the table and you were learning me the alphabet then words and one day I started reading out of the newspaper to you and you were amazed. I didn’t understand it then, but I understand it now, that you were moved cause you had tears in your eyes. You were proud of me, proud of yourself for teaching me and so you should be cause you were the best teacher I could ever ask for. I loved school and you always helped me with homework. When I got older and got bullied in school you always said to me that they were just jealous cause I was being so clever and that I should just straighten my back and rise above it. I tried my best although as a teenager it is not easy to not have many friends. 

Liv Annie and my dad on the beach next to our house.

Liv Annie, my dad and Fant the last Easter we spent together.

Later in life you were the best granddad. Just like you were the best dad I could have ever asked for, you were the best granddad too!! I remember one year when Liv Annie and I were coming up to you for Easter and you really wanted Liv Annie to go skiing as you thought it was so much fun seeing her on skis. It was late easter and the snow had started melting. It was far too little to ski on so you shovelled snow into to track so she could go skiing. What a lovely gesture and I will always love you for being so loving. 

Liv Annie with my dad the last time we saw him.

Since you died it has been very difficult and I have cried a lot. But I have also laughed a lot. I have taken your philosophy with me in life to not care about what other people think about me or say. To be myself and to live life while I can. We always created memories consciously to have something to think back on when you had gone. These memories are what I use in everyday life to keep me going if I struggle with missing you. I know that you are not physically there, but for me you are always there cause you are in my head and in my heart where ever I go.

I love you so much Pappa!!

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